Keep Your Shirt On!
By: D.C. Butterfield
A common expression when you want someone to calm down and rationalize is, “Keep your shirt on!”. Often used by me back in the days of dances at Riley Brook, Arthurette, Silver Slipper, Johnville and/or Glassville after an invitation to “C’mon outside!” over some local lassie. Shades of, “Up on the housetop reindeer moss, Better slip up the chimney and find out the cause!” Like, I once told a narcissistic poet presumptor who couldn’t/wouldn’t rhyme cat with hat that open-prose just wasn’t my style – though openness is! Does that smack of inanity? Life’s like that! Ineffably copacetic! However, when he, being six-six and 240 began to roll up his sleeves and unbutton his shirt I discreetly exclaimed, “Keep your shirt on!” The proverbial “good” vs “well”! As in, “Well, it sounded good!” I’m healing nicely! Taberduker! Kinda like driving a cab-over highway tractor – you’re the first one at an accident scene. Anyways, times change! When I was a lad a good joke was to call up the local grocery store and ask, “Have you got Robin Hood by the bag?” Now its more like, “Were these eggs ‘Laid In China’?” No joke! Think about it! The ole burn-barrel of life! Hard’ner puttin’ snowshoes on a bicycle (But it can be done!)! Could’a – would’a – should’a! On again – off again! Reminds me of … life’s narrow bridge!
Life’s Narrow Bridge
He left a city on the East
It was a lovely day
A trip he’d planned for many months
And now – was on his way,
She had started from the West
The moon was shining bright
A well earned break, that she deserved
Everything was going right,
He didn’t plan on coming back
Everything of worth he owned
He carried on his pickup truck
The suspension fairly groaned,
She only had just two weeks off
And so she traveled light
A single suitcase held her clothes
She’d be there tomorrow night,
The sign ahead read ‘Narrow Bridge’
There’d be barely room to pass
Just these two were on that road
Nobody saw or heard the crash,
A big bird struck his windshield
It sounded like a gun
Startled – he reacted
That’s when the pickup spun,
Who’d believe it’d happen
The odds were slim and none
But at that very instant
She was blinded by the sun,
Was it all predestined
Had someone’s “number just come up”
Or was it merely fate and fortune
Just part of living’s cup,
The question to consider
Was it predestination then, or chance
Did all of heaven’s angels sing
Or, did the devil’s demons dance,
Was it “general” or “specific”
There’d be no means to tell
Did one go straight to heaven
Did one go straight to hell,
There’s “destined” and there’s “destiny”
“In the cards” and “doomed”
The split-second that it happened
Which one was it loomed,
Sometimes we’re in life’s valley
Sometimes we’re on life’s ridge
What would be our destination
If we were on … life’s ‘Narrow Bridge’!
D.C. Butterfield
***
Meanwhile up at Coffee-Coffee I was talking to the boys in the corner clutch from ‘Upyourway’ and we agreed that there are two sides to every story. If’n we want to avoid “keep your shirt on” situations we should avoid the “straw that broke the camel’s back” comeuppances! Then, to digress – this past autumn just before the fall-peepers and foliage petered out, I enjoyed two terrific trips into NB”s Northlumberland County to Mitchell Lake (First trip) and Logan Lake (Second trip). At Logan we got within ’bout half a hollar of Papa’s crashed plane remains! We also did a Cariboo Wind Farms side trip, while enjoying the joys of boiling the kettle on the tailgate and bulking up on “Moose meat maybe” eats! Course, I took along my certified ‘Ramble Staff” and my “Bear-Bell”. Remember, all who wander are not necessarily lost (Thoreau). And, all who wonder do not necessarily get salmonella confused with toooo much satiety (Me). It’s the spirit of it! Much like “beauty” – that power by which a woman bewitches a lover, and terrifies a husband. Much too like – ‘trap’ vs’ attract’! Mark my words! So, take yourself a home-run Valentine Day cut and then it’s … home James and don’t spare the horses!
***
Have Pen – Will Write
