RESPECT SELF, RESPECT THE TALKING CIRCLE
Aboriginal people use methods, which are non-confrontational and non-adversarial, of reaching agreement or consensus that are in keeping with values fundamental to their world view and spirituality. The circle is not just a symbol, it is the model by which their society and thought are structured. A Talking Circle is both a forum to bring all parties together and a ceremony to remind us of the sacred. Aboriginal people believe that Creator and the ancestors are very much present whenever this circle is called.
A Talking Circle is called for a specific purpose whether it is to resolve a conflict or to celebrate an event. All participants come together for that purpose and have an opportunity to contribute to the resolution or consensus reached. However, it is a process whose purpose may change with the process of sharing. Each circle is unique. Creator’s gifts of Truth, Honesty, Respect, Forgiveness, Compassion, Wisdom, Humility and Love are the values inherent within the sacred circle process.
The “rules” of a Talking Circle are simple and straightforward. One speaks from the heart by expressing what one feels. Too often, we favour the intellect (the brain) at the expense of the intuitive (the heart) and the Talking Circle seeks to express both. Each person that is part of this process can share their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or interruption. Positive feelings, thoughts and words lend positive energy to the process and the reverse holds true as well – negative feelings and words will also influence the process and outcome if they are allowed to play a part. People can disagree but no unkind words, thoughts or actions are added or the whole circle is dishonored. Unless everyone in the circle agrees otherwise, the principle of confidentiality is the norm in all circles. Therefore no note taking or any other form of recording the process is allowed in these circles.
What is shared within the Sacred Circle remains within the circle. This is a simple matter of respect. Respect for the Ancestors, the People, the Seventh Generation, the Traditional Teachings, the Ceremonies and respect for one’s self.
The facilitator of the circle may begin the process with a cleansing ceremony ( “smudging” ) which may consist of the burning of sweetgrass, tobacco, cedar, sage or a combination of all four of these sacred medicines. He or she then explains the purpose of the circle and the process that follows. A sacred object such as a feather, rock or talking stick is passed around in a clockwise direction which upon reaching the facilitator again, completes a “round”. There is no set limit on the number of rounds, there may be one round or as many as required to reach consensus, or when the participants end it. Each participant may choose to speak when that object is passed to them. If they choose not to speak, they then pass the object to the next person on their left.
When a participant chooses to speak, everyone listens. There is no limit regarding how long that person speaks and there are no interruptions. If there is a question posed to another within the circle, the participant must wait for an answer until such a time as the object reaches the individual to whom the question is posed, and then they must respect the right of that individual to choose whether or not to answer it. Although participation is encouraged until the process is completed, a participant may leave the circle but must do so quietly.
There may be some variations between facilitators on practices and process according to the teaching they have received regarding the Talking Circle. There is one rule that is universally agreed upon regarding drugs and alcohol. Participants are asked to refrain from drugs and alcohol for a period of time prior to taking part in a Talking Circle. The length of time may vary according to the facilitator.
You receive from Talking Circles only what you give to them. Peace, healing, patience, the ability to listen, understanding and tolerance for the views of others are some of the lessons learned through this process. You may also find that you leave with a deeper understanding of yourself as a person in addition to an appreciation of others.
All My Relations
Dan Ennis
1996
