“Dave… The Bounty Hunter”
the old man in the hat
Mr. Premier, I admire a man with ambition. I mean, with your polling numbers, I think it’s great that you are branching out. Looking after your future. Very prudent. You have the perfect opportunity- a full time gig- but with enough time on your hands to dabble in that second career thing. Good move. An example to us all. With the EI changes falling like an anvil it is important to have a backup plan. I mean, what a stroke of genius- start small and work up to the big stuff. If you’ve got the moxie to muscle $264 from that guy in Minto for a 15 year old overpayment, just think of what you can get from that guy over in the Miramichi- 50 big ones- that’ll pay for the new hospital in Perth, and have change left over to restore medical services in Plaster Rock. Who knew? Big brother is keeping track of all the deadbeats! To what marvellous purposes can this increase in technological productivity be put to? Perhaps the province can loan some of this computing expertise to NB Power to enable the power corp to calculate the interest on the cost overruns at Lepreau. I can’t wait to see all that child support money rolling in from all those delinquent dads that the province previously has been unable to keep track of.
This has an unmistakeable, Carleton County, fairness to all of this. The sense of rightness. Everybody should be treated the same. What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander. You remember Dave, when you appointed Margaret Ann to the $150K energy thing. That odour of patronage. That unmistakeable sense of privilege. It just didn’t seem right that a Son of Carleton County would stoop to such lowbrow politics. I mean, when we expect the $264 to be coughed up without complaint, shouldn’t we expect that it would be spent wisely?
Lets not rule out reality TV. “Dave, The Bounty Hunter “would make for great viewing on Rogers. Think of all that ad money rolling in. Heck, you might even get enough to fund your pension!
One word of career advice, Dave. Skip the tats. Sure, they look cool and intimidating, but if the bounty hunting gig doesn’t work out, they are a real pain to remove and it’s not a procedure covered by Medicare!
