The “F” Word and the Broken Windows Theory
One of the more entertaining, illuminating and downright fascinating books in my own personal reference library is titled “The “F” Word.”
It is published by the Oxford University press, the same folks who publish the Oxford English Dictionary, among other scholarly and utterly respectable books.
And yes, “The “F” Word” is a dictionary and encyclopaedia dedicated solely to the history, etymology, literary references and many uses of the F Bomb!
It is a word totally unlike any other. Since the fifteenth century, no other word has been adapted, interpreted, euphemized, censored, and shouted with as much ardour or force
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The F word is now largely accepted as an integral part of the English language, yet it still confounds, provokes and scandalizes us.
I’ve thought about the F word extensively, for a number of reasons. I freely admit to spicing my own speech with the word when the occasion calls for it!
I am of course also completely aware that many people find the word totally unacceptable, and I would not deliberately offend anyone who feels that way by using it in their presence.
However, if you are of a more liberal bent you have to admit it’s one of the most versatile words in our lexicon.
It can be used as a noun, a verb, an adverb or adjective, or you can insert it in a word or phrase as an interjection, or attach it to the front as an infix. Truly multi-purpose, kind of like the Leatherman of words!
And the sound of it! That fricative percussion is just so satisfying when the occasion calls for it.
When I was a kid, the F bomb was recognized as coming of age word to use. You might snickeringly use it amongst your little pals, but you certainly never used it in the presence of an adult.
If and when you did, it was like a watershed moment, when you felt all grown up!
In the forward to the book the editor makes this very point. He describes the word as sacred, and goes on to say it is a “word that one should not utter because it is such a terrible word of epic proportions, a word whose mere utterance is a sin.
And because it’s a sin, using it is so enticing to the young that when they hear it for the first time they are spellbound. And when they use it for the first time, that F and the U bang so deliciously against the hard K, ripping through the lips, it’s as if a caged animal has been unleashed. They feel that they have taken that first mighty step toward adulthood.”
What a juicy description!
But the F word also carries some heavy baggage. It’s all very well to bandy the word about amongst your close posse of friends. Using it in public, however….
This brings me to the Broken Windows Theory. This is the social phenomena that when a neighbourhood or buildings begins to go to seed, and get broken windows, they rapidly become magnets for more vandalism, disrespect, crime, graffiti and destruction.
Some years back the New York Subway System dramatically reduced crime rates and vandalism by painting over all the graffiti. It was as if the presence of the wild and violent graffiti incited people to further illegal acts.
By cleaning up the graffiti, folks began to act in a more civilized manner.
If you live in a neighbourhood that has become a wreck, it sends the message that anything goes. A clean, tidy and well maintained neighbourhood means that the inhabitants respect themselves, and expect everyone to behave.
Back to the F word now. When my family and I owned Kelley’s Pub, we ended up making it a house rule that we would not tolerate profanity.
We were a family restaurant, mostly, yet for some reason some people felt that if they were in a drinking establishment all the rules for civilized behaviour flew out the window.
We seriously did not want any of our customers to feel offended, so we banned cussing, the F word in particular.
An interesting thing about this rule is, that by keeping the language civilized, people acted more civilized. If we had not stopped the cussing when it started, these people would go on to assume that anything went in our establishment.
They would get louder, and ruder, and more hostile. It was as if the very act of cursing fueled their anger and antagonism.
We had to ask plenty of people to chill with the swearing over the years. We soon learned that you had to nip cursing in the bud. The first time you heard a loud f bomb or two at a table, it was time to lay down the law.
The longer you waited, the harder it was to ask them to stop, and the more disbelieving they were when you did ask them to knock it off.
Even if there were no families or conservative looking people in the place, if folks were allowed to cuss once, it meant they could cuss any time. Making exceptions was a sure recipe for trouble down the road!
Most people, when we quietly told them that we did not allow profanity in our restaurant, would apologize and stop.
But some people looked at us like we had just told them they had to quit breathing or something. As if cursing loudly and profanely in a public establishment was some kind of God Given right!
And a large number of people, over the years, when asked to stop with the swearing, would look at us insolently and say “Why not, it’s a f***king bar, isn’t it?” As if being in a drinking establishment was some kind of license for complete language lawlessness.
Actually, I was always completely amazed at this Frontier Mentality. Is it not just common sense and common courtesy to speak in a civilized manner out in public? It’s a way of respecting your fellow citizens.
On the other hand, of course, if a customer was just quietly having a conversation and occasionally using a bit of spicy speech to make a point and not doing it in a loud and offensive manner, well, we believed in freedom of speech!
And, back to my delightful book again, the editor says that he believes “that the word is one of the few words in the English language with true medicinal qualities. It clears our heads of the cobwebs that our bosses, our politicians, and our pundits seem to spin with their tired words and useless clichés. I am certainly no doctor, but I believe that judicious use of the word in times of extreme stress or irritation can work wonders for your colon, blood pressure and central nervous system. It even works as an antidepressant. The word is so efficient, it’s like a miracle drug. One quick guttural expulsion is all you need (or sometimes two or three if things are really bad)!”
Hear hear, I say. Just don’t use it to bully the people around you!
Stephanie Kelley
