“It’s a mystery…..”

old manthe old man in the hat

The lazy days of summer are finally upon us. It’s all downhill from here!

This my favourite reading season. It is simply too hot to consume anything serious so it is time for the book equivalent of Jersey Shore. Trash fiction. The “her jeans are so tight I could read the hologram through her pants pocket” type.

Mysteries are the best. Intrigue, greed, lust and a complete sense of confusion.

Speaking of mystery, New Brunswick is a perfect example of an ongoing thriller.

A balanced budget was promised. Then it disappeared. Again and Again and Again. It really speaks to the author’s chutzpah to keep using the same plot line. No wonder book sales are down!

Let’s imagine, for a moment, the drama in the following gripping tale entitled ~ New Brunswick’s Forest Policy- the Sequel~ an eagerly awaited tome on the future of our heritage. Without a doubt one of the summer’s best mysteries. The learned ivory tower experts didn’t know. The private wood lot owners were in the dark. A major corporations’ board of consulting experts weren’t asked. John Q Public consultation, non existent, as per usual (no mystery here!). But someone knew. JDI announced a commitment for $513M within hours of the provincial announcement. What is a good mystery without greed?

The absolutely most frightening and mysterious story of the summer is the saga of the Energy East Pipeline. I have read a lot of weird tales in my life, but this one takes the cake. The plot is one that is so convoluted that it is difficult to follow. The energy czars our West really want to build a pipeline directly into the US market. This is not going well, so a proposal has been made to send the black goop here. (I bet this has the US shaking in its cowboy boots.) Apparently, so Davie Al says (all names have been changed to protect the identity of the innocent), this is good. For who? A few short term construction jobs to pump unprocessed gunk into ships, in our waters, to go somewhere else. Kind on like Point Lepreau- all the risk, for the end result to be sold somewhere else. Maybe Davie Al should insist that if the black gold comes here, it gets processed here. Maybe then we would see some benefit. The boys out west can figure out the financing for the technology to make it happen.

And let’s not forget that great plot booster, lust. The sensual, all powerful, mind altering emotion that turns otherwise sober minds into pots of horse glue. Apparently. That is the only possible explanation I can have for the fracking story.

Look at those Yanks. Making all that money. We can do it too. Lets make up a story for the public that the stuff that they pump in the ground is 99.9% water and sand- safe stuff- just think of the beach. Water and sand. FUN.FUN.FUN. Oh yeah, the 0.1%- don’t worry about that. Stick to the main plot. MONEY. Or, not. Depends on whether the fracking guys actually make money. Some people, in the non-fiction world, use accountants who can take a happy tale about money and profit and turn it into a tragedy of loss and despair.

No mystery there!

Have fun, drive safe. And read carefully!

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