No Notable Nuggets!

rogueThere are/will be times when one is simply faced with a shortage along the lines of “facetious nonce words” or “face-saving nonsense words”! Such was the situation when she of the lardaceous rear, which shape reminded me of lautenclavicymbals and/or something right off of the Pribilof Islands, suggested shrilly that I, more often than not, reminded her of “No notable nuggets!”! Taberduker! Of course! However, some such nuggets are covert, concealed, secret (To her!); while others are overt, not concealed or secret. Like, a dog that sneaks up on one from behind covertly is more apt to grab one by the arse than a doggy that approaches one overtly from the front – tail wagging and barking! To prove her point, according to her, she hastily and heartily asked me if’n I knew that aerographite is 75 times lighter than Styrofoam and 6 times lighter than air, is electrically conductive, with great porosity, high tensile strength, and can be compressed but will return to it’s original shape! And, she added, infinitely heavier than my gray-matter! A “Wowser!” for sure! I was seriously tempted to pretend that I was stupid – however immensely difficult and self-effacing that would be! But, I didn’t have to (You know what I mean!). No notable nuggets! Huh, how’s about the fact that out at Cut Knife, Sask, stands the ‘World’s Largest Tomahawk’ at 54 feet with a six-ton BC fir handle and a 2500 pound fiberglass blade. Course, we all know that at Nackawic, NB, stands the ‘World’s Largest Axe’ rising 7 tons of stainless steel up 50 feet. And – mine is a wonderful world, ah, just about like this notable nugget of a verse puts it …

Wonderful World

Ah, what a wonderful world
And, out for a Sabbath run
His favorite farmer’s hours
When the week’s work was done,
Cruising along with the window down
Such beauty “in these parts”
A tidbit of time to contemplate
Before another long week starts,
It did him good to be “out and about”
He felt frisky and alive
See some neighbors and slip thru town
On a sunny Sunday drive,
Once in awhile he’d “let ‘er go”
He enjoyed the powerful feel
The motor throbbed and “took her oats”
With him, in control, at the wheel,
But – somethin’ was ailin’ the Mrs.
His mate of many a year
He well knew the tune of turmoil
As she twitched her ample rear,
He could see beyond a doubt
After a life of “marital bliss”
A satisfying soothing spin
Today – would not be his,
“Whatever can be the matter Love
Am I trampin’ ‘er a tad too fast?”
But she had her mind on other times
Somewhere in the distant past,
“You must know what ‘our’ problem is
Sometimes you’re numb’ern a cow
We used to sit all snuggled tight
And look, just look, at us now,
You’d reach over and rub my knee
And I’d have to give you a slap
Or you’d be trying to touch my thigh
Or lay your hand in my lap!”
“I must admit – light of mt life
Your point, you’ve certainly proved
But consider this – my sugar plum
I truly … haven’t moved!”

   D.C. Butterfield

Anyways, getting back to that aerographite thing – naw … wonderful world and all! Taberduker! Reminds me of way back when my hair was still black and I was still with the Electrical Methods Section of the Exploration Geophysics and Geochemistry Division of the Geological Surveys and I worked with a McGill University PhD graduate who was headed to MIT to continue his studies and I showed him how he could take a boiling-kettle rolling-boil water off of a red hot stove burner and quickly (Very!) put his hand on the cool (Really!) bottom. He swore (Not literally!) that before he left MIT he’d figure out – why! I wonder if’n he ever did! No notable nuggets? Shades of a variety of varisized hares! 

And, square-dancing ain’t just for squares. Like, dos-a-dos and/or do-si-do (back to back back-to-backs) can be ‘bour exciting as a horse curvetting in dressage and/or me cruisin’ in a ’67 Corvette! Which reminds me of heavenly ‘ailanthus’, the proverbial “tree of heaven” and/or the $4.99 milkshake I once got for $.29! Or, how’s about the “pole dancer” who set a world record by dancing for 43 hrs, 27 min, and 18 sec, on the 10 inch top of a 52 foot pole!!! No notable nuggets – “black flour” makes flatter pancakes – the “pulley-bridle” is still a teamster’s trick – toothpick boxes don’t carry a list of ingredients – commercial trucks have “… begun adding solar panels to the roof fairings to power …”! Why not cars too? Shades of “paler in palette”!

Have Pen – Will Write     


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